PSA: Don’t Catch These Hands this Halloween – The Only Clown I’ll ever Love

Blog, Community, Uncategorized

This blog is dedicated to my twin brother. You know what you did… and now the rest of the world will too…

Clown pictured is not Soupy. Image from Pinterest


I had a clown once. A pretty green Bisque clown with eyes that opened & closed. Her name was Soupy Oatmeal. We had a song. The song was clearly a bop. And we sang it every time I ate cream of wheat (hence the name Soupy Oatmeal – also I know cream of wheat is not oatmeal I was ahead of my time) We sang it so much that I felt the need to sing it with her WHATEVER the breakfast was that we were having. Like I said…it was a bop. My twin brother did not feel the same way. One morning after a full out belt of a few verses of the Soupy Oatmeal song I sat her down so that I could hum & eat. He grabbed Soupy and threw her at the wall and screamed ” I hate Soupy Oatmeal and that stupid song… shut up!” *insert Diane blackish gif*  

Needless to say I was shocked because my twin is HIGHLY mild mannered. But what I just witnessed was the birth of one of his pet peeves. Eating & singing. He now hates anything that denotes greediness when it comes to food. Twiddling fingers… humming…tapping….if you don’t want a lecture on why your food appreciation is unattractive, please eat in silence. 

Well,  I picked up Soupy Oatmeal and her eyes were broke. Like… rolled up in her head. She looked possessed. I loved her. But her eyes man. She couldn’t stay. I cried and told my mom and she was like ” well maybe this will stop you from singing at the table, Rashaan, don’t break your sisters stuff” That’s it? No beating?! Not even a raised voice. Clearly no one liked the song. But I still sing it to this day when I want a rise out of them. You can’t stop my song.

But I say all of that to share with you this PSA. I loved that clown to bits but was quick to release her because of her “new” horror movie eyes.   

So YOU can and will catch these hands, a chair, a boot, a tire iron, or get tazed this Halloween if you come at me with a Pennywise costume, a Michael Meyers costume, freddy, A zombie… I dont know you. Don’t let you be on the wrong side of my seriousness. It is not a game. I can’t stand when people do something to scare you then say they were playing. I’m going to hit first and keep hitting. There is no need to ask questions. You brought this on yourself. If you want to scare someone, scare yourself, sit at home and take selfies. People have phobias and default to fight or flight. Youre holding the losing hand if youre wagering that I’m going to choose flight. 

People are legit getting shot and then shocked like you weren’t menacingly approaching someone to evoke a fear out of them. Do yourself a favor, don’t dress like that, don’t dress your kid like that, it isn’t cute and they WILL be denied candy. 

Like, I don’t even have it for Ronald. Bruh, leave your happy meal on the table and step back… no need for interaction. 


 The only clown I saw it for was Soupy and she gone! So there is no hope for you and no future in ya frontin. 

 

I googled “clowns” to find pictures to insert and I just want yall to know I consider the internet to be full of some sick individuals. Y’all gotta chill B. 

 

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Almost 40

Lifestyle, Uncategorized

On Wednesday I’ll be the big 4-OH.  My boss poignantly stated that this was the last week of my thirties and asked how I felt… I felt okay until it was put that way! But seriously.  This is just a few notes to encourage those leaving one decade for the next and wondering if they missed their “marks”

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  •  I LOOK GREAT

I know it sounds vain, but with God’s grace and some serious self care, I honestly look better leaving my 30’s than I did entering them.  The take away? Its never too late to make lasting changes that affect you for the better.  To date I have kept off the 20 lbs that I lost and i’m just striving to keep a healthy balance and yes, I still have dreams of a six pack ;-).

  • I AM WALKING OUT MY DREAM… JUST NOW

Have the world tell you, I’m too old to pursue a career in fashion; and even more so as a designer.  I won’t lie; I’ve been on this journey since my 20’s and allowed life and fear to dissuade me from really giving this thing a go.   But right now, on the brink of 40 I’ve never felt more ready.  I truly feel a resolve about the skin I am in and the steps I am making.  My clothing line is authentically me and I needed this time to realize that.  Prayerfully next year you will see The Style Co-op’s debut resort-wear line and the timing couldn’t be better.  The take away? Do it.  Afraid, bold, right now, later… The only thing you’ll regret is the regret from not moving.

  • I AM STILL SINGLE AND CHILDLESS

LOL Job 3:25 says: “For the thing I feared has overtaken me, and what I dreaded has happened to me.”  I laugh because this is me. I kept thinking God would “ram in a bush” me.  SURELY God has at least a bae for Jai at 40.  LOL nope. Nah. Nada. Nothing. The thing I feared the most.  No man, no hint of marriage, no children… and I’m pretty much 40.  It’s the worst and best thing to happen to me.  The worst because, I mean I want to be in a healthy, happy, thriving relationship filled with purpose and I’m not.  The best because 1) It didn’t happen and it not happening didn’t kill me 2) I’ve stopped holding my breath.  3) We don’t always get what we want and this is a great example of “losing” gracefully. aka not acting out or forcing something just to say I have. 4) I. DIDN’T. LOSE.  The take away? Points 1 & 2.

  • ORDER COMETH

Listen.  I saved the best for last!  I’ve always felt like I was juggling life.  That in order to take care of one thing, I had to lay another down.  Also a reason that delayed me from fully chasing my dreams.  Then one day this year I was like “self…How can you want more in life when you can’t handle what you have now?”

My mission then became to master the “little” that I have.  Create routine and habit and ORDER.  It’s a lie to think that in order to be a free spirit, your life has to be chaotic.  I’ve never felt freer and its due to creating order and structure.  Days no longer slip away into weeks and months of would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.  Now, if this “man” ever comes along… I know I won’t put my life on hold to tend to him.  When the time is right I’ll actually be able to have a healthy relationship.  But for now, I enjoy the fact that my house isn’t a whirlwind of fabric, patterns, Netflix and lost time.

  • THE TAKE AWAY

Things not happening in the time that you want them to happen doesn’t always mean that you missed the mark; It just means it didn’t happen.   Focus on what did happen.  Focus on the steps (of the things you can control) that you have made.  And for the things you cant control… find the blessing in the pause.

Life is STILL good.

God is STILL good.

40 is STILL coming.

Happy Birthday to me.

And if you want…. cash app me $40 for 40 

Cash app: $Jaikeyl